Lost

I feel like writing. It’s been a while but I feel like right now I need to write. I need to release some of this energy that keeps building up inside me. I think it’s my anxiety bubbling up inside me. I feel like I need a release, something to do with this energy but I don’t know how to get it out of my system. Sometimes I feel it inside me and I feel confused, I wonder if I need to get active? Should I dance? Should I sing? Should I go for a walk? I’ve tried these things many times, but still I feel the same. I feel like this feeling won’t ever leave me. I feel like this state is just a constant cycle. I feel lost. I want to move past this. Each day I keep searching for an answer but nothing seems to come to me. I’m constantly keeping myself going trying to fix it. Trying to find a solution. I keep thinking that this is me keeping myself go. And yes, I am a fighter, but this is me pushing myself forward out of fear. This energy inside me is just spawned from fear. The energy I used to have was one that felt like a flame, one fueled with passion and love. I was the girl who would fight for what I believed in, even if I wasn’t right. I was so stubborn, I was filled with dreams. I wanted to be a singer, an actress, an artist. I had passion, creativity, drive and I wanted to showcase who I was to the world. I lost my way, I lost my voice. But one day I will find it again.

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